10 Conversations That Prove Gays Truly Do Make The Best Friends A Hetero Could Have
Posted: 30th Jul 2010 Author: Queeried Team Topics: Humor
If there’s one thing that makes us gays stand out from the rest it’s our conversational skills. Much more honed and developed than the rest of the population, our conversations always have a real air of intelligent, wit, compassion, charm and well rainbow coloured gayness as these 10 smile inducing conversations from “Shit My Gay Best Friend Says!” prove:
1. The Protective Britney Spears Conversation
Me: I mean, Britney Spears is our generation’s -
My Gay Best Friend: Choose that next statement wisely.
2. The Always Protective Of The Other Gays (Especially If They’re Good In Bed) Conversation
My Gay Best Friend (AKA my brother’s boyfriend): Do you want to come over and watch Dirty Dancing tonight? I just feel the need.
Me: That is exactly what I want to do! You’re a way better gay than my brother.
My Gay Best Friend (AKA my brother’s boyfriend): Um… yeah, your brother is actually pretty good at it.
3. The Saving The Straights From A Fashion Disaster Conversation
My gay best friend (after seeing my new crocs): “OH HELL NO! YOU TAKE THEM OFF NOW AND WALK YOUR HAPPY BEHIND BACK AND RETURN THEM!”
Me: “Aw, but aren’t they cute!?”
My gay best friend: “NOOO! actually never mind, don’t take them back. burn them now and save a little trouble for the next victim.”
4. The Always Noticing The Small Details Conversation
My Gay Best Friend (while watching a horror movie): “Jesus Christ, that girls eyeshadow looks absolutely ridiculous. That’s way too much.”
My Other Best Friend: “Well, that amount of eyeshadow can work on some people. But definitely not her.”
My Gay Best Friend: “I suppose that is true.”
Me: “How can you talk about eyeshadow when we’re watching a movie called ‘The Human Centipide’ ?!?!”
5. The Always Very Very Honest Conversation
My Friend (while holding up her curly hair to look like bangs): “Should I get bangs or does it look stupid because my hair is too curly?”
My Gay Best Friend: “Well, I need to go over there to the corner and throw up for a few minutes, then when I come back I’ll answer your question. Does that sound good?”
6. The Never Ones To Discriminate Conversation
My Gay Best Friend (while watching the Goofy Movie): “Oh my god, those pants make him look soo big!”
Me: “This is a cartoon.”
7. The We Like The Luxuries In Life Conversation
Me: “I thought you would love nature!”
Gay Best Friend: “You thought wrong. The closest I ever get to nature is seeing the Lion King on broadway.”
8. The Protective Madonna Conversation
My Friend: “Who cares if my mother went to high school with Madonna, My aunt went to high school with Jack White and that’s all that matters!”
My Gay Best Friend: “Oh my god. I can’t even believe you right now… do not talk about her like that!”
9. The We Notice The Important Things Conversation
Me (The Gay Best Friend, looking at a magazine): Man look at her shoes! you could fit a goldfish in them!
My Best Friend: There is a half-naked girl on that page and the first thing you notice is her shoes? God, you really are gay…
10. The Once We Get Started We Can’t Stop Conversation
Me: Have you heard of that new song by Kylie Minogue?
My Gay Best Friend: OF COURSE I HAVE! I absolutely love her!
Me: Jesus… I just shouldn’t have said anything to get you started.
Photo credit: Davichi
