I’m Just Sayin’ : Your ‘Horror-Scope” Always Catches Up With You

So apparently we’re in some kind of tumultuous astrological climate because Saturn (or perhaps Mercury?), which turned retrograde in the middle of this past January, is now slowly but surely retracing his steps back to return to Virgo. What this linguistic blah blah means is that the current star forecast for all the zodiac signs [...]

I’m Just Sayin’: How Out Can You Really Be With Your Family

My 89-year-old grand father just came up with a brilliant idea – or so he thinks! Are you ready for this? Out of nowhere, he suddenly decided to take on the grand – and very much impossible – mission to find me a husband. Phew! And to think I thought I was going to have [...]

I’m Just Sayin’: I’m Not Unapproachable, They’re Just Undesirable

The last thing I expected when I agreed to meet one of my “exs” for lunch – and by “ex”, I use the term loosely – was to actually be the main piece de resistance, and not even served on a silver platter! You think it would have behooved her to give me a little [...]

I’m Just Sayin’: I Should ALWAYS Trust My Gut Feelings

I knew there was an extremely good reason why I should have stayed home the other night or, for that matter, every night. Really, must I always be reminded of everyday life nonsense? I mean it’s not like I don’t do a good job on my own to confuse myself. I certainly don’t need the [...]

I’m Just Sayin: I’m Late… For My Own Life

Here’s something new I just discovered about me: I am late! Now please, for the love of God spare me the flinching, cringing, eyebrow raising, eye-rolling, sighing, and don’t even dare thinking of throwing me a baby shower. Unless, unbeknownst to me, I have been anointed by the Holy one and sorely miscast as the [...]

I’m Just Sayin: I’ve Finally Worked Out The Meaning Of Life

If I didn’t know better, I’d say that the universe is definitely out to get me. As a matter of fact, I had imagined in great details this colossal inter-galactic coming together of all cosmos, constellations and celestial creatures at some stellar lah-de-dah resort to remarkably concoct a massive conspiracy against me. Because, surely, I [...]

I’m Just Sayin’: Do I Look Like A Sex Toy Tester?

As if things in my personal life weren’t stressful and complicated enough already, now my work – which had, so far, safely remained sort of a Switzerland zone in the united states of mind of Mona – just got warped. Here’s the deal. As a general cardinal rule of thumb, when it comes to clients [...]

I’m Just Sayin’: How This Wannabe Lawyer Turned Into A Rockstar Publicist

As a kid, I never had any burning aspirations to become a publicist. It simply was not in the list of fancy professions with a fancy paycheck – you know the ones that make people go “WOW, you’re a _______ (fill in the blank). To tell you the truth, I wasn’t even quite clear as [...]

I’m Just Sayin:I’m Not An Angry Person I Just Have A Lot Of Anger In Me

In case you were not aware of it since my humble self has been so modestly discreet about it (see columns dated June 11 & June 18) but I recently celebrated another birthday. What that means is that for one day I was the center of the universe – well, at least virtually, on planet [...]

I’m Just Sayin’: I’ve Been Cheated Out Of My Cheating Experience!

Sometimes I really wish I could go to confession and get absolved for all my sins. Just spill it all out and clean my plate – so to speak – so I could just pretend none of my fuck-ups ever happened and be totally guilt-free. Well maybe I wouldn’t so much divulge all of my [...]

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